What is a Helpmate?... Part 2

So, hopefully since the last time that we've talked, you've been working through some of the necessary steps to do personal assessment, evaluating your personal strengths and weaknesses and positioning yourself to intentionally receive fresh revelation from God such that you grow in new strengths and abilities while pruning unfruitful areas of your life. As promised I wanted to share some key points for you to ponder relative to preparation in becoming a Helpmate to a spouse.
*Side note: For the sake of equality and  clarity in the context of this blogpost, a Helpmate is not necessarily gender specific ( Because 'help' is not gender specific...and because its MY blog...LOL))

Now that we've gotten that taken care of...aside from workplace and ministry relationship and associations that have different boundaries and functions in our lives, I wanted to focus a bit more on marital relationships and the 'help' associated with that.
Help is universal in that, we all need and desire the resources that cause our lives to flow a bit better and the kind of cooperation that aid and assist us in becoming better. As defined in Part one to this blogpost, to help is to do something that makes it easier for someone to do a job. As a spouse, a destiny partner, I would do well to be able to 'help' in three strategic areas of my companions life...lets talk about those areas.
Vision: Whatever area of ministry or marketplace that your destiny partner has been called to serve in should encourage you to grow in  your ability to help them there. That doesn't mean that you necessarily have to be in the same field of business or ministry but we should strive to have the ability to help in causing that vision to come to pass, to grow, to develop  and manifest into all that its supposed to be. As a wife I should desire the ability to help make the journey easier, cooperate with the process that ultimately means success for my entire family as my husband becomes more astute in his calling. As a husband, the love for her peace as well as her mental, spiritual and even physical well being should be a priority as it lines up with the family mission and vision and ensures a level of peace and stability in the home life as  a whole.
Victory: Spiritual  deliverance and growth requires the help of your destiny partner. The full responsibility of your journey belongs to you, however, the cooperation  of your spouse can make or break your ability to grow at a consistent rate. Spouses can and should intercede and do warfare on behalf of the other which advances their personal efforts. The power of agreement is a mighty tool against the enemy.
"How could one have chased a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight..." Deut. 32:30a AMP
Vanity: Physical presence does wonders in the fight against discouragement, accountability in health and wellness challenges, physical intimacy and even the encouragement to keep your appearance in tact in an effort to foster fresh feelings for your companion. (Start paying attention to this area as a single...trust me) Image is important to certain levels of success and don't you listen to anyone who tell you differently. We don't need to be consumed with the outward man, but the consistent maintenance of our physicality shows a great respect for our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit. Regard for how we present ourselves to the world, and represent our families says a LOT about how we honor the Spirit of God on the inside of us.
 "Do you not see and know that your bodies are members (bodily parts) of Christ (the Messiah)" (1 Corinthians 6: 15 AMP)
Consider these fews points as you pursue purpose and maximize your season of singleness....
Se'Fana

What is a Helpmate?....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   HELP:
To do something that makes it easier for someone to do a job or deal with a problem.
To aid or assist someone, to make something less severe.
To make something more pleasant or easier to deal with.
To give assistance or support
To make bearable, to further the advancement of
To give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need.
To contribute strength or means to render assistance to
To cooperate effectively with

Whoa!!! Thats a pretty tall order isn't it?!...Sheesh!

Is it possible to be this and DO this for others? The short answer is YES! According to the Word of God (Genesis 2:18 AMP) Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.

Every situation that God places us in, we have to believe that we were created for it, that there is specific grace and empowerment to achieve what He set us in that situation to accomplish. So it is for the relationships in our lives, even the non romantic ones, that He would not place us where He hasn't provided for us. While we are single, however, there could seemingly be a lack of opportunity to actually 'practice' being helpmate to someone, but that couldn't be further from the truth! Singleness is the PERFECT time to allow the real helpmate in YOU to be birthed, cultivated and then presented to the world around you.

In our family, schools, places of employment, houses of worship and even in the community around us we have daily doors to walk through that allow us to be salt and light...but first how do you help yourself?! Thats right, what skills and talents have you enlisted in your own life that have caused you to become better, accomplish tasks easier or complete instructions and assignments more efficiently?
Sometimes we make the mistake of wanting to offer ourselves to others before knowing what it is that we actually offer to them. Take an assessment of your life and write down the things that you have grown in over the last year, proceed to write down the things that you can benefit from growth and development in over the current year. How will you 'help' yourself to accomplish these items? What will you do, give or provide that contributes strength to your endeavors? If you cannot help yourself, don't even consider yet what you can do for others...lets grow our own lives first. Why is this important? Well, when you are presented with a critical opportunity to help someone or something you will have the ability to pray and think according to what you are sure you have the capacity to help WITH.



As a licensed cosmetologist, I'm equipped to help with all phases of beauty culture, but I'm not as equipped to wire my salon...same building, same industry, different strengths and abilities to move the overall business forward. Familiarize yourself with your strengths and abilities and then position yourself in the presence of God such that He can give you clear revelation of what He desires to equip your life with BEFORE you connect in a romantic relationship with someone else. Allow the daily destiny intersections of your marketplace (and even ministry) engagement to sharpen you, to prune you and to prepare you for your next level of ability and anointing as a HELP to the WORLD that needs Jesus Christ.  You may need to take classes that teach you how to communicate, cook, perform at a greater level in business, parent, manage money or even how to take better care of your physical well being...all of these translate into abilities that will enable you to 'help' in your circles of influence.

Stay tuned for some important keys and specifics areas that can benefit from your ability to HELP...

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Living on Empty...

We tend to always be in a state of pouring. Pouring a cup of coffee, pouring a glass of orange juice, pouring on the charm to our significant other, pouring on affirmation to our children before their big Social Studies exam on Monday morning to give them one last jolt of confidence. Or pouring a bit too much syrup on the waffle that probably should be a bowl of steel cut oats with flaxseed and a side of berries for added vitamin content ( let's face it…the waffle and syrup just taste better)! Sometimes we are pouring our  hearts out to a friend when all of the weight of OUR pouring has taken it's toll…

Yep! We've ALL been there to one degree or the other. Trying to push and pull from the place of the poured out! Too many 'TO DO' lists undone because we haven't sought to be poured into by a God who is FULL and overflowing with the Grace, Love, empowerment, strategy and…dare I say it?...REST that we so desperately need in balance and contrast to the days that we create via our own ambition. On one of those days where I'd forgotten just how empty my own fleshly efforts can be, the quiet whisper of the HolySpirit reminded me that in Mathew 5:6 "Blessed[joyful, nourished by God's goodness]are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness [those who actively seek right standing with God], for they will be[completely] satisfied. 

YEP!! The Father is the very one who loves us and stands ready to fill us as often as we come to Him empty. Typically at the beginning of a new year, there is much bustle about doing more and being more. I'm learning to simply allow Him to "Be" in me. His grace is empowerment that bridges the gaps that threaten to swallow us up whole. 

So today, right from where you are….be empty. Pour out your heart, thoughts, fears, failures, anxieties, inadequacies and desires on HIM.  Welcome the fresh strength, air, peace, love and REST that resides in God for YOU. 

He can never empty of His ability to restore, refill and refuel you. 

~Se'Fana~